I vividly remember sitting on my back porch on a sunny afternoon, talking on the phone to a former pastor about a hard season in my life. He was known by those who worked for and with him as a man who could see the best in people, a man who could revive hope in the midst of seemingly hopeless situations. Indeed, he had himself been through numerous difficult situations and seemed to persevere well through all of them.
If I’m honest, all I wanted was a little encouragement. I wanted to know that life can be hard, and I was doing a great job. But instead of encouragement, I got a “hard truth.” After our conversation, I felt like I had been struck with a blunt object that left a tender bruise. Every time I reflected on our conversation, it hurt. Years later, I’m grateful for that conversation. What that pastor told me was true. If I’m honest, it has changed how I think about many things, even though it was hard to hear at the time.
The virtue of candor is like a coin with two sides. It requires both courage and wisdom. We need to be courageous enough to say things that are hard to say. Wisdom is also necessary because if we are to advance a thought, idea, or emotion, it should be true and good. If the heart behind our candor is selfish motivation, a personal agenda, or a desire for recognition, then being candid is only a means to that end.
One of the texts cited for this virtue is Proverbs 16:21, and that verse emphasizes the ‘wise of heart.’ One commentator on this verse says that the ‘wise of heart’ speaks words persuasively and for the good of body and soul. As we seek to be candid with one another, let us seek to be both courageous and wise, so that our candor glorifies God for the good of those we’re interacting with.
